So, interesting things have been happening recently.



I didn't run the half marathon last Sunday (even though I'd signed up and
paid and received my running kit). Why? Cause I was an absolute idiot the
Monday before and thought "Gee, haven't really done any long runs for this,
will get one out of the way today." And proceeded to run 16km.



And proceeded to get shin splints 8km into said run.



Now, considering that was pretty much the furthest point of my looping run,
I had no option but to a) go back the same way (8km) or b) keep going (8km).
I kept going and collapsed in a sad little pile when I got back to the gym.
Then my manager told me to go and get a client upstairs that he had for me,
and I dutifully went off, only to find that about 15min-20min into my talk
with her, I suddenly feel like I'm going to throw up, and excuse myself. Get
halfway to the stairs and almost pass out (world spinning / eyes
unfocussed), but make it downstairs and get looked after by one of my
clients, and one of the other trainers. Manager goes to apologise to client,
and I'm left sitting there feeling like an idiot.



I asked heaps of trainer, including ones at a workshop on Wednesday - "hey,
what's a quick way to get rid of shin splints?" Unanimous response:



"Don't run."



*sigh*



But that's not all that's been happening. For the past few weeks, I've been
feeling lethargic, unmotivated (hence the last minute run idea) and just
generally overwhelmed with my life. I'm not that busy (which annoys me) and
my eating has been out of control. I eat when I shouldn't, I eat MORE than I
should, I eat things that I shouldn't and have been not even wanting to
exercise - so not like me. I've been sleeping late, going to bed late, not
wanting to go and work with clients, and having to fake "Happy Katie" when I
do. I've put on some weight (about 3kg) and just generally felt like I'm
over it all.



So, yesterday, I had a bit of a tear up at work (sniffling in front of
another trainer - who is an awesome woman for chatting to me) and so decided
to go to Mr Family Doctor to have a chat. Also saw him about shin splints
("don't run") and a couple of mole / spot things that I was concerned about
(all good, nothing wrong).



Diagnosis? Early stages / signs of depression.



So, his prescription is

a) Make sure I keep working out - put it in the diary as an
appointment, make no excuses. It's part of my job to look good as a trainer,
so I have to keep up appearances. Also, exercise is a proven method of
overcoming depression and depressive symptoms, so keep it up.

b) The eating will come when you're more energetic, so workouts are
doubly important.

c) Lower my expectations of where my business should be, and focus on
how it's going (slowly). Don't think it's going to happen overnight.



Logical man my Mr Family Doctor. Although he has 8 kids, so one wonders HOW
logical he can be. :-) But he said if it gets any worse, I should go back to
him, and we can talk about going further with some medication, etc. I don't
think it will get that far, I've got a pretty good support system, and The
Boyfriend last night was like "Well, go to bed now, cause that might help
you feel better" when I was still sitting on the lounge at 10pm.



So I did, and to be honest, I do feel a little brighter this morning. A
little - an early night is not the cure all for things like that.



But, I'm going to endeavour to blog more often - get things off my chest
that I don't really say out loud. Cause when I write stuff down, I can
actually think about what I say, and write it properly, rather than say it
out loud verbally and have it misconstrued. (I swear, there's a disconnect
between my brain and my mouth sometimes.)



Til next time,

Katie

If anyone has any spare miracles up their sleeve, can you please send them
over to Fat Cyclist & his family (www.fatcyclist.com
<http://www.fatcyclist.com/> )? For those in the know, Fat Cyclist is an
awesome blog run by a guy called Elden, and I read it religiously. He's
incredibly funny, obsessed with bikes (mountain, road, racers.) and his
writing is always fabulous. He always writes about his family and their
adventures in such a happy and amazing manner. Elden has even had cycling
jerseys designed for his site (they're great looking) and Twin Six (the
makers) have also made a breast cancer one for Susan (great for the ladies,
in lovely pink). Previously, his lovely wife Susan has battled breast
cancer, bone cancer, & at the moment she has tumours in her brain and
they're going through some VERY tough times.



Miracles are in order. Get the prayers going and the miracles a-happening
for Susan.